What originally began as a brief visit quickly became a sister circle where vulnerability and support converged to create a healing experience none of us knew we needed. We spent the next several hours, yes hours, discussing relationships (familial and romantic), trauma, forgiveness, self-worth, and other topics important to women.

I understand I cannot control my familial circumstances. I was adopted into a household of Christianity and emotional abuse. Black womanhood and toxic masculinity. Enmeshment and unavailability. Nor can I undo my family environment where I was rooted in Black superwoman strength and performance under all circumstances. And I definitely cannot forget the ways in which I was raised to be a “good girl”, obey, be nice, and one day, get married.

Six months ago, you laid there for the first time. The paper on the examination table sticks to your thigh with sweat making you shift uncomfortably. You knew you should be nervous, but the Ativan kept you calm. *knock, knock* three women came in and one began to explain that she’s the doctor who would be performing the abortion and that the other two were for support. She asked you to put each foot in the stirrups, and before you knew it, your mistake became a part of a stranger’s daily routine.

My pregnancy experience gave me insight into the cold and unfeeling approach that doctors often take towards the female body. It comes as no surprise that Black women are experiencing fibroids and unnecessary hysterectomies (removing the uterus) at alarming rates. I wanted to reclaim my body.

How did a woman’s strength go from a pillar of empowerment to a self-damaging anchor? I am not sure how we let strength morph into Wonder Woman Syndrome, but I let the idea of strength smother me. As women, we must care for everyone around us while balancing career aspirations with grace. We glorify being Wonder Woman while ignoring what the pressure is doing to our mental health.

SBG had the honor of speaking to Amamda Dookie, Founder of Heal Her Heart, a non-profit organization committed to empowering women who have experienced trauma to share their stories and continue the work towards their journey of healing.