Reclaiming The Skin I'm In: Mental Health and My Skin Care Journey
Photographer: Daniel Dobson @Dxl_Glass
“Don’t get stuck in the pain of the wound and miss the miracle of the scar.” - paraphrased from Iyanla Vanzant
My whole life, I have lived with an ongoing struggle with my skin. Growing up, I remember being proud of my skin color, hazelnut with a hint of orange zest. I loved the beauty mark on my forearm and the luminous glow my skin gave off like a firefly in the summer. But as I grew older, I began to encounter several challenges with my skin, mostly due to allergies, eczema, acne, and keloid scars. After I had my appendix removed at age 17, I was left with a fat and shiny keloid scar on my abdomen. Keloids are more common in darker skin types, specifically people of African or Asian descent. I remember going to a dermatologist to have it treated. I received three painful steroid injections into the scar tissue. After that, the scar did flatten and it has since faded, but the impact on my self-esteem took years to heal.
As a Black woman, there are many skincare challenges that are unique to us. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I experienced a condition called “Melasma”, which is when the skin darkens around the forehead and neck. According to the Cleveland Clinic, “the epidermis contains cells called melanocytes that store and produce a dark color (pigment) known as melanin. In response to light, heat, or ultraviolet radiation or by hormonal stimulation, the melanocytes produce more melanin, and that’s why the skin darkens.” I had heard about the “pregnant glow”, but not the “mask of pregnancy”, which caused my skin to change completely.
Recently, I read about actress KeKe Palmer’s struggle with PCOS and cystic acne. I never would have guessed that Palmer had a skin disorder, but the photo she shared of her scars reminded me of my own.
“Women with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) have a hormonal imbalance that interferes with normal reproductive processes. PCOS usually starts at puberty and is associated with irregular periods and other hormone-related symptoms.The most concerning issues with PCOS are the increase of infertility, the risk of developing type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease, and the higher risk of developing endometrial (uterine) cancer at an early age.” - Cleveland Clinic
Although I don’t have PCOS, I have dealt with acne and acne scarring. It can be damaging to one's self-esteem when you have blemishes you want to hide from the world, believing there’s something wrong with you. It’s easy to develop unrealistic body image beliefs that limit greater self-confidence. It hurts to constantly hear unhelpful advice like “drink water”, “eat healthy”, “exercise”, and “wash your face”, which are common health and hygiene principles. Over the years, I’ve seen so many doctors and taken so many allergy tests, hoping to figure out the reason behind my eczema flare ups on my arms and legs which used to prevent me from wearing short sleeves or tank tops. In high school, I used to wear cardigans every day no matter the temperature!
It takes courage to claim the skin you're in, regardless of the scars you bear.
I believe there is a connection between mental health and skin disorders. Anxiety has played a large role in my skincare journey. When I am experiencing times of high anxiety and stress, I am more likely to experience breakouts. 2020 marked the beginning of a new relationship with my skin. Instead of fighting my skin, I decided to become better at loving it and caring for it. Instead of trying to conquer the issue, as I had in the past, I have been taking a more loving approach.
I got a facial for my birthday, and bought new skincare products from my wholistic aesthetician, Malikah Divine, and committed myself to prioritizing skincare in my schedule. Since then, I’ve seen improvements in my skin, even if I’m still getting the hang of the routine. Like most aspects of our health, sometimes our bodies are calling out for love, tender care, and attention. I’m not suggesting that self-care is all facials and massages, but good results follow good intentions. Intentionally caring for your skin in every stage, appearance, and evolution can change your relationship with your skin, which is even more important than how it looks! And remember, a scar is not always a bad thing; it’s a miraculous reminder of how you have healed!
Keep glowing, Queens!
I want to know, have you ever had skin difficulties? How did it impact your self-esteem? Share in the comments!
By the way, if you like my tank top, it’s for sale in the SBG Shop. Not the one I’m literally wearing, but you know, your own!
Photographer: Daniel Dobson @Dxl_Glass I call this one “Cobra”
Photographer: Daniel Dobson @Dxl_Glass “Tree Pose”
Photographer: Daniel Dobson @Dxl_Glass “Loving The Skin I’m In” Side note: my mask is stuffed in my pants so that’s why I’m lumpy 😂
