How to Step Into Your Season of Transformation
Transformations are messy, confusing, and beautiful all at the same time. The transition from Spoken Black Girl the blog to Spoken Black Girl the magazine has been a whirlwind adventure for me. Two years ago, I could have never imagined myself doing what I do now - writing, editing, and empowering women of color. My life felt stagnant and I didn’t have the confidence to make my dreams a reality. I kept waiting for some outside force to make me into the person I wanted to be; whether it was school, work or even romantic relationships. But the truth is just wanting something is not enough. Before we can have true transformation in our lives, we have to do the work, beloved *Iyanlya Vanzant voice*. So, don’t limit yourself, sis. Anything is possible in this life
Here are some tips for kicking off your summer of transformation:
- Change the way that you talk about yourself. Negative self-talk is critical, judgemental or sometimes downright mean. You might be used to battling negative thoughts in your head, but these subconscious thoughts can surface when you’re talking to others about yourself or your projects.
- Be gentle with yourself. Just because you’re in the process of becoming, doesn’t make you any less than enough in the present moment.
- Be ready to travel alone. Not everyone will understand the changes you’re making. Friends and even family will drift away as they struggle to label and identify with the new you.
- Dream up goals that are bigger than you. Where’s the fun in goals that you know you can achieve? Set your sights higher. You’ll be amazed by your ability to rise to the occasion and you’ll love yourself even more for it.
- Drink water and mind your business. The famous calling of Black Twitter rings true in real life. No one is entitled to know about your transformation. Some are happy to share Instagramable moments from their growth journey, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep your own story private.
- Set Boundaries. Get clear on your own personal needs and protect them with firm boundaries. Your needs are non-negotiable factors that others must respect in order to be part of your life.
- Set yourself free. Our lives have a way of collecting junk that no longer serves us. Take this time to release yourself from old habits you’ve been holding onto out of fear. The same goes for toxic relationships. You are whole just as you are, so releasing habits will never subtract from your worth, only increase your shine.
- Ditch the lies you’ve been telling yourself. It’s difficult to confront ourselves with hard truths, but continuing to let unproven beliefs run our lives is a recipe for disaster. Self-sabotage is real, folks!
- Document your journey. Whether your transformation is mental, physical or spiritual be sure to document it so that you have proof of your progress and can look back on your journey with a sense of achievement. If you like to write, grab your favorite journal. If you’re more of an audio/visual person, try a video diary or documenting through photography.
- Find good company. When you finally kick toxic relationships to the curb, it creates space for people who understand what you’re going through. Like attracts like, so if you’re making a conscious decision to grow into the woman you’ve always wanted to be others on the same path will find you.
Which of these transformation tips will you try this summer?
Rowana is the Editor and Founder of Spoken Black Girl.