Episode 5. ADHD and Black Women
Signs of ADHD in Black women can often be overlooked or misdiagnosed, leading to a significant impact on their lives. No one looks at little Black girls and thinks, “ADHD.” The signs are often missed. Mental health stigma stops many people from seeking help even if they do notice the constant fidgeting and daydreaming. Symptoms such as chronic disorganization, forgetfulness, and difficulty focusing can be misattributed to other factors, such as stress or depression. When I got diagnosed with ADHD, it was like a missing puzzle piece had been placed on the table. Everything finally began to make sense. The cycles of burn out. The hyper fixations on special interests. The tendency towards inattention that I just called daydreaming about my latest characters and plots. Another sign that I had ADHD was what I thought was my personality. People would often remark, “Rowana is a straight shooter,” talking about my style of communication and “Think before you speak” was a common admonition. Later, I would come to realize that there was a social script that I didn’t always pick up on. I thought that you were always supposed to tell the truth about how you feel or what you think, but as it turns out, this was not the norm.
I have difficulty with change and transition. For years I carried the separate diagnoses of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression, which it turned out were both linked to ADHD. I struggled with time blindness and the general feeling that I was trying my very best but had to push so hard to make it to “good enough”. It all began to make sense. I hesitate to even write this because I don’t want anyone to think I’m incompetent. The truth is, because I’ve been unintentionally masking for my whole life. I’m really good at it and I’ve already thought of a million tricks to thrive in neurotypical spaces. These tips have been lovingly nourished by my therapist’s professional advice, so I’m sharing what works for me here!
I’ve tried every project management tool and if it’s not on my Google Calendar, which I update daily, it’s not a real event. Since my diagnosis, I’ve added reminders onto my reminders.
I’ve been intentionally limiting my distractions. Headphones really help with this. Sometimes my kids can be loud, which leads me to be overstimulated. Or they want to jump all over me, leaving me “touched out” and irritated. I’ve found that it’s really helpful to know how and when to regulate your nervous system when you need a moment to recharge.
Try the TEA Method
Take a breath - Stop what you’re doing and take a couple of deep breaths. Connect with this now moment.
Eat Something - Sometimes ADHD makes me so focused on the task I’m completing that I can ignore the fact that I’m hungry or have to use the bathroom. Reconnect with and nourish your body.
Act - Do something that will ensure your comfort in the next moment. Maybe you decide to lay down or sit down for a rest. You adjust the lighting and be more mindful of your sensory experience (example, noise, and bright lights). Giving myself time to rest, even if it’s just 5-10 minutes, it’s worth it to lay down and close my eyes if I can. As a mom of two, the opportunity to rest doesn’t come around often but when it does, I take it.
I hope these tips on how to thrive as an adult with ADHD can help someone the way it has helped me along my journey! Be sure to follow the podcast, leave comments, and share with a friend who might find this useful!
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