Departure Story “What If…” Deleted Scenes From The Book

As a writer, one of the hardest things you’ll ever do is go through the editing process with your book. You know that phrase “Kill your darlings” or rather the age-old writer advice? Well in the creation of Departure Story, I had to kill quite a few darlings before publication.

I had a separate document called “Departure Story Scraps” where I would put scenes that didn’t work for the overall plot. I want to share some of these deleted scenes now that the book has been out for four years now. I hope that readers have gotten to know Celestine and her crew of family and friends enough to want to know more.

I know one of my favorite parts of writing the book was creating the romantic dynamics and relationships. I was really picky with how certain characters were portrayed, especially Richard. If you have read Departure Story, please let me know if these deleted scenes changed the way you view the story or a character. If you haven’t read Departure Story yet, grab a copy from the shop!

Deleted Scene #1: Great White Bae

For the first time in weeks, Celestine decided to call Richard. He had called her a few days ago, and she let the call go to voicemail. When they passed each other on campus, Celestine averted her eyes or pretended to be occupied with some book, or searched for nothing in her school bag. In turn, it seemed that Richard had also given up on her. This gave Celestine some relief, but she could not stop tasting the bitter sadness of what could have been at the back of her throat.

Leaving the Diversity and Inclusion office, Celestine pulled on her armor. She put on her mental blinders and only saw the road ahead of her. Her body automatically switched into survival mode and her only objective was to find a place to breathe.

She did not want to be alone, but she had never felt lonelier. She did not want to stress out any of the dancers with this new development and Margo had not been herself since the incident with her mother – Patty hadn’t been around since.

So, Celestine dialed Richard’s number with stoic resolve which evaporated almost immediately upon hearing his voice on the line.

“Celestine?” He answered after the first ring.

“Richard… hi.”

“Hi.”

And that was all she wrote.

“You doing okay?” Celestine’s words came out slowly and painfully.

“I’m great. You don’t sound so great.”

“Yeah, I guess not. You’re right. I’m not great.”

“Wanna come over?”

Before even responding, Celestine pivoted towards his dorm. Before he could ask any awkward questions, Celestine launched into a recount of what had just happened in Professor Hall’s office.

“Can you believe this? All over a dance show?” Celestine was pacing the small room, brows furrowed in despair.

“It’s more than a dance show, it’s a power play. You know that don’t you? That’s why you’re doing this.”

She stopped pacing.

“A power play?” she was affronted by the idea that she, a young black girl from no where could have any power to flex.

“I just want the club to keep their instructor. Where else are they going to take African dance lessons in this place?”

“Don’t be naïve, Celestine. Do you know the things people say about you?”

Richard took Celestine’s hand and led her to sit next to him on the bed.

“Now I know more than I ever cared to know.”

“I’m not talking about those racist cowards jerking themselves off in a Facebook group. I’m talking about our friends, people who support you. You have a following. People say you’re brave, and smart, and beautiful. I tend to agree.”

Celestine allowed for a small smile.

“You’re a powerful woman, Celestine, although I can see you don’t think so. You have a target on your back because of that power. Other people don’t think you deserve to have it. But you’re a force of nature and you attract people who are good, kind, and smart. We’re not going to let you get hurt.” 

Richard cupped her chin, gently drawing her face closer to his. “I’m not going to let you get hurt. Do you believe me?”

Celestine’s mouth opened and closed, no words escaping.

“Say, ‘Yes, I believe you.’”

She kissed him full on the mouth, wrapping her arms around his waist and knocking his glasses askew in her fervor.

“I’ll accept that as an answer.” He laughed breathlessly.

They laughed, falling back onto the bed, turning their heads towards each other and interlocking fingers. It seemed that the more their skin touched, the more touching they wanted to do, which inevitably led to belts unbuckled and bra straps unhooked. Their bodies moved naturally and with urgency. Celestine happily let go of every thought in her mind and let herself be overtaken by pleasure. Richard took his glasses off during sex, which Celestine liked, since he wore them like a mask, pushing them up his face when anxious. She touched the reddish indentations on his nose shaped like tear drops. He took off his watch too, so he was completely naked for her, exposed.

She rode on top of him, grinding her hips slowly the way that made his eyes squint with pleasure.

“I love you.” He said, not for the first time, as he began to reach his climax. Celestine smiled down at him, appreciative. Sometimes, she thought, men are so simple.

Off on an Adventure

“Let’s go on another adventure.”

“Adventure?”

“You know, to some secret spot on campus. Take me somewhere I’ve never been before.”

“Your thirst for adventure is unquenchable. You’re never tired somehow.”

“Oh,” Celestine laughed, “I’m glad it seems that way.”

“I think that’s why I like you. You’re like a lightening bug that refuses to go dim.”

“Please stop embarrassing me.”

He wrapped his arms around her. Celestine squirmed, laughing. He whispered in her ear, “Why can’t you accept compliments?”

“Here we go,” she sighed pleasantly, “Analyze me, Freud.”

“I just want to understand, but you won’t let me. You don’t talk about yourself or what you’re feeling. You don’t talk about your past, your home, your family… but I want to know all of it.”

“You can’t know all of it.”

“Why not? What are you holding onto so tightly? Is it fucked up shit from the past, because everyone has that. But yours are worse?”

“Watch it…”

“Because you’re Black, and a woman, and an immigrant. Yeah, I get that. I get how it feels to open up to someone and then be scarred and bitter. Clamming up and never wanting to speak again. Speak anything true, anyway. After my mom died, my father was never the same. He wouldn’t allow himself to be loved anymore. My mourning enraged him. I needed to talk about her. I needed to make sense of what happened. He hated me for it. Correction: he hates me for it. He hates himself for cheating on her.”

Richard’s voice was clear as the fresh night air. Celestine didn’t say anything.

“Then I realized my dad’s just an asshole, and if I started treating other people like shit because of him, he wins. Can’t have that.” He laughed, pushing his hands deeper into the pockets of his jeans.

“What’s your point?”

“The point is, we can be something new together. We can be, I dunno, liberated. We can let go of all of that past shit and have a blank slate.”

The two came upon a bench next to a long-haired willow tree, the hanging limbs swayed gently in the night breeze.

“Let’s sit.” said Celestine.

Richard sat, still looking at her expectantly. Celestine took a long, sharp, breath.

“I lied before.”

“What do you mean? Lied about what?”

“My father. He’s alive. He has AIDS and he is living in poverty back in Guyana. I told you he was dead, but the truth is, I didn’t really know if he was dead or alive. We don’t really talk about him back home.”

Now it was Richard’s turn to be silent. The moonlight reflecting off of his glasses gave his eyes a sinister glint, or so Celestine thought. She searched his face for some clue or indication. When she she could not read his expression, she continued.

“I… I didn’t mean to lie. I only found out he was alive last summer. Before that, he was just gone.”

“I understand. That’s okay, I mean, it’s not okay, but you know what I mean. I’m sorry about your dad.”

“That’s just it. I don’t want you to be sorry. My aunt is depressed, my sister is a mail order bride, and I have managed to fuck up an opportunity other people would die for. I don’t want to be the dark cloud around your perfect all American life.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. Life is complicated with me. My world is complicated.”

Richard tried to wrap his arm around her shoulder, but Celestine shoved him away and scooched over to the edge of the bench.

“I got something for you.”

“I don’t want it.”

Richard pulled out a yellow envelope with Celestine’s name scrawled across the front. Celestine sat with her arms crossed.

“Take it.”

“No.”

Richard pushed the envelope towards her, but she did not move.

“Shouldn’t I be the one who’s upset? You just told me you lied. But I get it. People sometimes lie to protect themselves. Who am I to say whose excuses are more or less valid?”

Celestine turned her head slowly to examine him.

Deleted Scene #2: After The Dance Concert

Janelle walked out like Vanna White with a bottle of raspberry vodka Ciroc, posing, waving and smiling at a small group of admiring friends. She let out the two long braids she had worn in a crown during the performance, giving her shoulder length tresses a wet and wild look. She wore a black dress with red cherries and black paten leather kitten heels. Her gaze is inescapable, and the girls just want more. More of her beauty, more of her wit, more of her sugary sweet tea southern charm.

“I splurged cuz I’m proud of you ladies and if it’s good enough for Diddy, it damn sure is good enough for us superstars.”

“That sure as hell gon have us bopping tonight.” Jackie exclaimed. The girls were on a natural high after the performance. Before the bottle of vodka could even have a chance to be tapped by every hand in the room, tunes were booming, and they were on their feet dancing.

Celestine, however, was sitting at the desk, quite still and seemingly unmoved by the festivities. Janelle went around pouring drinks for the girls. When she made it to Celestine’s side, she slowed down and made a show of getting a cup, dropping in ice cubes one by one and drizzling the liquor in slowly before adding the smallest trickle of Sprite.

“I’m tryna give you a chance to talk so I don’t have to pull nothing out of you.” She explained.

“I’m fine. More vodka please.”

“You’re a tough cookie to crack, you know. When I first met you, I thought you was just boring and wasn’t nothing going on behind those pretty eyes, but now I see you hold it all in.”

Celestine took a large swig of her drink which was sweet like candy. Janelle made a small sound of surprise as Celestine emptied her cup.

“I ain’t even put no sprite in it yet. Hold on, sis”

“Maybe a lil bit more since it’s like that. Couldn’t have been easy, that fight and all earlier. Shit, none of this been easy on you and I just wanted to tell you I see that. I know that. Damn, it takes balls to do what you done for us this year, girl. Thank you.”

Celestine was still numb and could only nod. Every time she felt her eyes burn with tears, she blinked hard and took another swig of her drink. Every time Richard’s face popped into her head she took a drink. It was not long before she was hopelessly drunk and being ushered along by the other girls out of the dorm and towards the off-campus apartments for a night of party hopping.

Deleted Scene #3: Smells Like Regret

The bathroom was abandoned at 3 am. It was the perfect time to shower and be alone with one’s thoughts. Celestine got naked and flung her dress over the curtain rod. She switched the shower head on and adjusted the lever to the hottest setting. She let the water singe her skin, felt it flowing through her hair and filling the cradles of her ears. She opened her mouth and filled it with hot, metallic tasting water. After a swish she spit out a foul combination of liquor, soda, fruit juice, and beer. The inexplicable taste of green apple had coated Don’s lips and tongue. Again, she filled her mouth with scorching hot water, searing her gums and scarring the roof of her mouth. Then she spit again and the water tasted like blood.

She turned her face upwards and let the water run over her eyes, into her nose and ears and mouth. She wanted the night water. She wanted to feel submerged and protected, but whenever she tried to find it she could not. There was only her, out there in the world, vulnerable and real. She could not find a pocket of the mind to hide herself in. She felt like a new born baby, lungs still developing, gasping for a new way of life, a new consciousness about the world, new tools to survive with. She alternated between this gasping and the gap between breaths, where she felt like crying. Under the burning water, every other breath, she wished she would die.

She only allowed herself to remember the evening in snatches, The fight. The Performance, the Confessions. The feeling of Don’s hands running over her body, his lips on her lips and then her cheek and then her neck. She wished it hadn’t felt so right.

Celestine banged her fist against the wall. Her dress fell to the ground and she pulled her fist away bleeding.  The envelope Richard had given her fell out of the pocket and now lay at her feet becoming water logged, the inky out line of her name lifted and swirled. Turning off the shower, Celestine opened the envelope slowly with pruney fingers. Inside was a single roundtrip ticket to Georgetown, Guyana and back. And there was a note:

Please, just take it., Richard.

What IF Richard Showed Up?

Celestine spotted another figure struggling across the lawn with bags and boxes. Richard had come with all of his camera equipment to document the performance. When he reached the group, sweating and huffing, he lay his equipment down on the steps of the hall gently, and swiftly positioned himself by Celestine’s side.

“Great,” said Jason, looking Richard up and down, “Your boyfriend is here to help you fight the power.”

As if on cue, Jason’s posse whooped and laughed. The effect faded when they all saw that Richard was smiling too.

“Jason, you must have absolutely nothing better to do than to make other people’s lives miserable. That’s incredibly sad.”

“No, what’s incredibly sad is the fact that you’ve been clinging to these people just to feed your hero complex. I mean, out of all of the pitiful causes...”

The dance girls were getting riled up in their leotards and prints. Janelle was taking off her earrings when Saffiya placed one firm hand on her shoulder  and told her to be at ease.

“Celestine actually wants to make a difference on this campus. All you want to do is keep things the same.”

“Well, if it aint broke, don’t fix it. Instead of just being grateful to be on this campus – hell, grateful to be in the country – your girl keeps causing trouble.” Jason took a step closer so that his face was inches away from Richard’s.

“You should grow a pair and learn how to keep her in line. I mean, frankly, I don’t get the whole jungle fever thing, but do you bro. Just learn how to keep your whore quiet.”