Discovering Faith, True Beauty, and Confidence During, and After Cancer

After going through so much in my life, things were going well, until it happened.

I had a head-on collision with not only breast cancer, but colon cancer as well, and it changed my entire outlook on life. I found my cancer through an ultrasound. The Mammogram didn't detect it, because I’ve always been told I had dense breasts. The only symptoms I had was a large knot that seems to be growing within my breast. My colon cancer was discovered in other ways, even though I didn't have any symptoms as well. This is why regular checkups are important. I thought I had endured rough years before, but going through cancer was the rest of the iceberg. 

“When you’re going through a serious illness, you learn to know what faith truly is, along with finding the true meaning of beauty and how you really feel about yourself.”

It helped me conquer bravely what I sat out to do and get through my diagnosis of cancer, not once, but twice. I have experienced many trials and tribulations in my life. Through it all, I gained strength that I never knew I had, and much more confidence in myself, which led me to loving myself all over again. Surviving cancer gave me a new beginning, all on my own.

You wonder, what in life had you done so wrong to have this placed upon you. You began asking, why me. Yet through my tragedies and all that I had to endure, it all became an awakening for me, in which I received and gained all the strength and encouragement I needed to conquer. Through it all, not only did I find the true meaning of life, and more insight on how I viewed myself. Through all the chemo, radiation and the pain I endured, I still felt pretty good about myself.

I found myself looking in the mirror even more during this time, because I thought that I was dealing with something that would drastically change me, but as I viewed the imperfections on my body I now must live with, over time it got better, and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I embraced it. I'm still among the living, who am I to complain.

“Whether we are dealing with an illness or any other negative feelings about ourselves, our lives, as well as our bodies and celebrate our own affirmations. Through all my mishaps, I still see myself as beautiful. I have come to realize that even going through such a dark time, I still have a life to be lived, and I am going to live it to the fullest.”

 When I think about the individuals that are no longer among us due to such a horrific disease, I'm truly grateful, and I will no longer take my life for granted. Life is precious, and we don't realize it until we come close to losing it. When I think of the “gift of life” that was given to me twice over, I knew I did not have a moment to waste. I would never say having or going through cancer is a gift, surviving it, receiving a second and third chance at life to spend with your family, is the gift. Yet, through it all, I did not allow the disease to take away who I am, or what I stand for.

“I am a survivor, as well as an example to show that it can happen, and that I can go on and look and feel just as beautiful, inside, and out, and it shines that much brighter.”

Yet through my tragedies and all that I had to endure, I received and gained all the strength and encouragement I needed to conquer. I will say that the areas of my body that were interrupted will be a constant reminder I had cancer, and at times, it does bother me, I'm human, but within a moment or two, I look past it, because those areas could be covered up. Your true self and beauty are within and when you feel beautiful on the inside, it shows so clearly on the outside. Just because I had cancer, does not mean cancer had me.

“We as women should never allow anything, or any circumstance to steal our joy, nor our self-esteem, even while cancer is taking you through many emotions and many unanswered situations.”

At times you feel black-balled. And I for sure know with cancer, many times you are too weak to even think about your looks, because you're not always feeling your best, but at times we must try, even a little bit and fight past it and keep living.

When I look back now and see how far I've come, I have to say, I thought right away that my cancer diagnoses were death sentences. Cancer has taught me not to blink twice in life, my eyes are wide open, living my best life. I also realized after surviving cancer both times, that I was about to face new beginnings, new hope, do and see more with a whole new perspective on life. I share my story with others hoping to make a positive impact on someone who is ill or otherwise, where they can proceed with life in a whole new way. I am sixty nine years old now, and I am cherishing each day, each moment, and through it all, I feel that I’m at my best. I am more confident in myself, as well as grateful. I am starting over, doing things I should have done before cancer.

One day, after one of the many surgeries I had during my breast cancer period, and I could remember it as if it was yesterday, I experienced something so real, so peaceful, something of a miracle, that I had to write it down. I turned that experience into a poem, and I called it “Peace”. I took that poem, along with many others I had written, writing had become therapy for me. I am hoping that anyone who may have the opportunity to read my poems, gets out of them, what I placed in them, they are as real as poems could ever be. My most recently published book is titled, “Cancer, Yet Cancer Again, but I will not Die, before I'm Dead”. I titled it that, because I truly feel that you should not stop living, because you have cancer, and that is exactly what I almost did. I heard the word “cancer” and wanted to give up. I am a realist, a regular everyday woman, who has overcome many obstacles, which brought me to writing, trying to produce inspirational stories.

“The scars and mishaps that are now attached to my body due to cancer, are just that. They are symbols for someone else’s inspiration and hope.”

I am thankful, because if I had not struggled, I would not have found my true strengths. Not allowing anything to stop me. I am a true example that you can survive cancer. Early detection is the key. There’s a much higher rate of survival. Knowing the changes in your body is important as well. I am not saying all will be easy. I am not saying all will survive it. What I am saying is to have faith, fight with all you have, then hold on. I honestly believe, when and if you survive a horrific tragedy or a horrible disease such as cancer, it is for a reason. You have a purpose, and through that purpose, faith, compassion and strength, your true self is born again.

Thank You

Karen Rice/x2 Cancer Survivor